“You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” This quote by Morpheus in The Matrix reflects the metaphysical quandary immediately presented to visitors of Charmin.com. Do you prefer the strength of Ultra Strong Charmin offered by the cuddly red bear, or the softness of Ultra Soft Charmin being pushed by the adorable blue bear?

Despite a pleasingly understated top navigation menu with the usual stuff—Products, History, FAQs—the vast expanse of the page is dedicated to the big question at hand: soft or strong? Do people really need such difficult questions in their lives? According the Charmin.com, yes: So, which option is it going to be? Strength of softness? It has to be one of the two. There is no third option. And if there is, we don't want to know what it could be. Versatility? Yikes.

From a branding perspective Charmin's online approach is kind of genius. Charmin here isn’t just addressing or guessing what a visitor’s toilet paper interest might be, they’re actively creating that interest. And they’re doing it in a very outright and loud (in a good way) way. And in that, Charmin has already won half the battle; they got me interested… in toilet paper.

Google “toilet paper” and not a single leading brand appears as a first-page result. But even more surprising is that only one toilet paper brand has even bothered investing in any Google AdWords for that search. This is rare. Search for “laptop” and one will get Dell, Intel and IBM Lenovo AdWord buys. “Trucks” gets Ford and GM. “Shampoo” produces Garnier, L’Oreal and Herbal Essence. “Toothpaste” gets Crest and Colgate. And while these brands show up amongst smaller competitors, they are at least making the AdWords buys. Toilet paper? Not a single Charmin, Cottonelle, Angel Soft, Quilted Northern, Coronet or Soft ‘N Gentle. (Scott, the odd brand out, has a Google AdWords buy to drive “toilet paper” searchers to Scottcommonsense.com which, if Scott had any, would get a redesign posthaste.)

The official history offered by Charmin.com is a reflection of Costanza's truism. Founded in Wisconsin in 1928, the brand’s decade by decade milestones focus largely on package designs and advertising campaigns.

Speaking of the latter, it is wonderful to see a little love being thrown to the late Dick Wilson right there on Charmin’s homepage. Bravo. Mr. “Don’t-Squeeze-the-Charmin” Whipple, introduced in 1964(!), appeared in hundreds of Charmin ads and at his apex was arguably the best-known brand pitch man in America. And though the tribute’s overall design doesn’t fit at all with the tone of the page, who cares; let’s face it, it’s a toilet paper website. And as toilet paper goes, Mr. Whipple will probably never be outdone in creating such wildly positive consumer sentiment on a product sector as crappy as toilet paper.